Rip a rhyme in your rythm banks
and rank it way up high.
Bring a box of funky beats
and make a cool reply.
Sing a song of sixpence
but dont mention the rye,
coz Don McLean used it all
the day the music died.
So load on up your Fruity Loops
and bring a slice o\'pie.
Make a song thats not too long
and watch it go awry.
The number one you\'re banking on
wont play on your Hi-Fi,
coz you my friend forgot about
the day the music died.
You\'ve tried on ev\'ry CD player
from Paris to Shanghai.
But the bass you brought to
-hear is nought.
The sound\'s in short supply.
\"My need to hear is drenched in fear\"
in tears we see you cry,
but you cant go back for one last track
because the music died.
I was inspired to rhyme by and irish word and a teddy bear
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Comments
It didn't work out.
However, great writing --
--
Greatest thing you've ever done
*rants on for a bit*
G'Stuff
--
:: Iridescent Media ::
It's bouncy most of the way, but there's one or two off syllables (where the syllable that the poem dictates should be stressed, wouldn't be stressed in the word regularly-- there's probly a word for that.. meh :j)..
As the poem bounces: 'but dont mention the rye,'
But 'mention' should have the stress on the first syllable, so it's a bit weird to read.. 'but mention not the rye' would work for me- but that's just my weird style- y'might wanna change it to summick else, if yer changin' at all..
There's always the possibility that I'm reading it wrong too.. in which case y'can ignore me and the whole thing's great.. there were a few things that throw off the reading for me like that, but not many.. and it'd not be noticed in a reading of yer own, say.. 'cause you'd like.. know how it goes.. I'mma shush.. hope some of that made a lil' bitta sense. I'm off to Tiki!
Sounds like a Drunken Tiger song...honestly, it does...
If music died, so would a piece of me... never die old friend.
--
Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself.
--
-Savior
though i have to say, it's worthy of the attention, this is a great piece. favworthy i think
i love what you're saying here. not only celebrates music as it is today, but nods towards the past, and pokes at the problems there are around with music today. great piece
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I am a meat popsicle.
You all at deviantART really need to sort out what the space problems are. The guy who has a 2 meg song or the guy who has a 20 meg flash video... choices choices...
--
"Ars quod degreditur malum est"
They deleted my stuff.
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